Searching for a Day Care

Today, Justin took a personal day so that we could go tour potential day cares for Levi. I've been mentally preparing myself for months for the day that we actually drop him off for the first time because I know it's going to suck. I was not, however, prepared for how difficult today turned out to be. We visited First Baptist Waco first, which had been pretty highly recommended to us by a few people. Despite this however, as soon as we walked into the infant rooms, I could feel myself getting upset. The room was dark (probably naptime), lined with cribs, with a small play mat in the middle. There were a couple babies playing on the mat, but there were others just sitting up in their cribs looking around in the dark. From what I could tell there weren't any windows in the room either, so I felt a little bit like I was in baby prison. By the time we were ready to leave, I was itching to get out. As soon as the door closed behind us, I burst into tears: "I don't think I can do this!" I knew it was going to be hard not being with him all day anymore, but I didn't realize it would hit me this early.

Thankfully, after I calmed myself down, we stopped by the Tower to introduce Levi to Justin's coworkers. We told a few people that we just visited our first potential day care and there was overwhelming sympathy and understanding from all the women. They know how traumatic it can be and they reassured me that it gets better. One woman told us something that I think will become my mantra during this experience - "It's better for both you and him." Not to say that being a stay-at-home mom is a bad choice, because I definitely don't think that, but I know it's not the best decision for me personally. It will be better for me because I will be able to work and be myself again, but it will also be good for him to be able to socialize with other babies in a safe and educationally-focused environment. (Thanks Sheila!) So while it will be hard, it will be good for both of us in the end.

After our stop at the Tower, I felt a lot better about everything (or at least as good as I can right now). We went to visit Central Faith on our way home and I felt much better about it! The rooms each had a wall of windows, and while there were still lots of cribs in the room surrounding a play area, the rooms were more open and the staff talked to us about the different developmental activities they do with them throughout the day. I was most impressed by the fact that they work to teach them both Spanish and sign language. So cool!

While we haven't decided on a place yet (we still have some more to visit), I feel a lot better about it knowing that most other women in my situation have gone through similar emotions. I hope that other new moms or moms-to-be can read this and know that, while the process is hard, you are not alone. If you start feeling isolated or alone in your feelings, talk to other moms that have put their kids in day care and I guarantee their sympathy will be immediate. Us working moms have to stick together!

And now, a gratuitous baby picture because he's just so darn cute!