Transition Week

As much as I tried to put it out of my mind, the time finally arrived for Levi to start daycare this week. When Levi was about 2 months old, I was talking to a friend about daycare and she gave me a great piece of advice (thanks Carly!)- she encouraged me to take Levi to daycare a few days before I actually had to go back to work and school so that I would be able to better adjust. She said that she didn't do that with her son, so her first day back at work (which was also her son's first day at daycare), she was a complete wreck.

Thankfully, Levi's daycare has what they call "Transition Week" for all of their new kiddos. Basically, the week before you kid is supposed to start school, you bring them a little more each day to help both mom and child transition into daycare. And bonus, it's free! It definitely made our transition a lot easier than it would have been otherwise and for that I'm extremely thankful! Here's how it went:

Monday - Me and Levi go to Daycare Together for a  Couple Hours
This was a great experience for me! I was able to take Levi to his class, see how things run, ask questions, and explain Levi's little quirks as they came up. I got to meet all of his teachers and start to develop a relationship with them, which was really nice.

That being said, I was a little worried about a few things. One is that Levi is younger than all but two of the other babies in the room, meaning the other babies are mobile and grabby. Also, I didn't see any books and to be honest, for the most part, all play time was pretty independent, which isn't what Levi is used to. More independent play will probably be good for him, but I'm concerned about the lack of academics. I know they're babies, but I'd argue that reading to babies is pretty common practice so I was confused when I didn't see it.

Overall, I felt more comfortable leaving him there than before, but I was a little disillusioned by what actually goes on during the day.

Tuesday - I leave Levi at Daycare for a Couple Hours
I dropped Levi off at Daycare for about two-and-a-half hours while I got my hair cut (finally!!). The actual act of leaving him was difficult. When I bent over him to say goodbye he looked up at me and smiled, melting my heart and making it extra difficult to leave him there. Once I was out and about though, I felt ok about it. I'm not going to lie and say everything was peachy and that I'm totally ok with him going to daycare, but it was more manageable than I thought it would be.

Levi also did well. He didn't cry much while I was gone and he ate from a bottle offered by a stranger, which is good. I'd really like him to experience as little trauma (for lack of a better word) as possible during this time.

Wednesday - I leave Levi at Daycare for a Half-Day
This was my first day back at work. Levi was at daycare from about 7:30-12:15. Being at work wasn't actually as hard as I thought it would be. It was nice to be back doing the job that I enjoy with my friends and coworkers. However, when we went to pick up Levi at lunch, he was BALLING. He was so exhausted because he's still learning how to nap in a noisy room and he had never been apart from us for that long. Poor thing.

Despite the fact that I felt ok with it while I was at work, seeing my sad little boy made this day especially hard.

Thursday - I leave Levi at Daycare until 3PM
Well, unfortunately (sort of...) Levi and I both came down with a bad cold. His cough was getting a little chesty so I kept him home with me and we went to the doctor instead of daycare. I was worried about it being the flu, but it wasn't and the doctor said he was ok to go to daycare as long as he didn't have a fever. I kept him at the home the rest of the day though...haha! It was good for him to get some rest. And boy did he! He practically slept all day!

Friday - I leave Levi at Daycare All Day
Since he didn't go to daycare on Thursday, I didn't leave him there all day today. And honestly, I'm glad I didn't. He's still sick and unable to sleep, so I picked him up at 3. He was crying again when I got there, but I know it was mainly because he was exhausted. He fell asleep within minutes of being in his car seat.

(How could anyone say goodbye to this face everyday?)

Generally speaking, I feel ok with going to work this semester, but I really hope that come mid-May I'll be able to keep him home with me from then on. It's important for me to finish my master's degree and fulfill my apprenticeship commitments, but it still feels unnatural to send my kid to others to take care of him during the day. I won't say it feels wrong, but it definitely doesn't feel right.

I think having this transition week was really helpful (even though I didn't do it quite right). It gave me the opportunity to see what it would be like without feeling trapped into it (even though I kind of was). I highly recommend it to other new moms!



Searching for a Day Care

Today, Justin took a personal day so that we could go tour potential day cares for Levi. I've been mentally preparing myself for months for the day that we actually drop him off for the first time because I know it's going to suck. I was not, however, prepared for how difficult today turned out to be. We visited First Baptist Waco first, which had been pretty highly recommended to us by a few people. Despite this however, as soon as we walked into the infant rooms, I could feel myself getting upset. The room was dark (probably naptime), lined with cribs, with a small play mat in the middle. There were a couple babies playing on the mat, but there were others just sitting up in their cribs looking around in the dark. From what I could tell there weren't any windows in the room either, so I felt a little bit like I was in baby prison. By the time we were ready to leave, I was itching to get out. As soon as the door closed behind us, I burst into tears: "I don't think I can do this!" I knew it was going to be hard not being with him all day anymore, but I didn't realize it would hit me this early.

Thankfully, after I calmed myself down, we stopped by the Tower to introduce Levi to Justin's coworkers. We told a few people that we just visited our first potential day care and there was overwhelming sympathy and understanding from all the women. They know how traumatic it can be and they reassured me that it gets better. One woman told us something that I think will become my mantra during this experience - "It's better for both you and him." Not to say that being a stay-at-home mom is a bad choice, because I definitely don't think that, but I know it's not the best decision for me personally. It will be better for me because I will be able to work and be myself again, but it will also be good for him to be able to socialize with other babies in a safe and educationally-focused environment. (Thanks Sheila!) So while it will be hard, it will be good for both of us in the end.

After our stop at the Tower, I felt a lot better about everything (or at least as good as I can right now). We went to visit Central Faith on our way home and I felt much better about it! The rooms each had a wall of windows, and while there were still lots of cribs in the room surrounding a play area, the rooms were more open and the staff talked to us about the different developmental activities they do with them throughout the day. I was most impressed by the fact that they work to teach them both Spanish and sign language. So cool!

While we haven't decided on a place yet (we still have some more to visit), I feel a lot better about it knowing that most other women in my situation have gone through similar emotions. I hope that other new moms or moms-to-be can read this and know that, while the process is hard, you are not alone. If you start feeling isolated or alone in your feelings, talk to other moms that have put their kids in day care and I guarantee their sympathy will be immediate. Us working moms have to stick together!

And now, a gratuitous baby picture because he's just so darn cute!