Who's To Say We Know Best?

I was watching Avatar last night (I sort of hate to admit that this is where this stems from, but there it is) and I started thinking about the commentary James Cameron makes on white colonialism. As I'm sure you all know, the movie involves a group of Americans exploiting another planet for their resources, while also treating the native population like they are savages, in need of American acculturation. You see this pattern repeated throughout history, be it by the Americans or some other European power, and I started to think, what makes our culture so good that we feel the need to impose it on others? What about being American justifies our superiority complex when it comes to other groups that we deem as "lesser"? What do we have to offer that's so good that we feel the need to bulldoze other cultures and ways of thinking?

I started thinking about some of the behaviors and ideas that I come into contact with every day, and quite honestly, I think we have a lot of growing and learning to do. Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to become an ex-patriot and move to Paris, and I'm not about to build a shack in the middle of the forest to escape it all, but I think our culture has been so blinded by our own self-perceived glamour and goodness, that we've neglected to see the fact that maybe we're not that great. Maybe some of these other cultures around us that we think are inferior (you may hate my word choice here, but if we're being honest...) because they are different, are actually more in tune with what is good and right in human nature.

Think about it...

We're impatient. With fast food restaurants, high-speed technology, cosmetic surgery, and accessible transportation, we are accustomed to getting whatever we want as soon as we want it.

We're self-centered and entitled. We expect others to do what we think is best for us because we clearly deserve it. We also expect others to do things our way, to think and act like us, because we are also clearly the best.

We value productivity above all else. I don't mean to get political here, but our priorities are so skewed that it is expected and encouraged to spend more time at work than with your spouse and children, and oftentimes, when you decide you'd rather do the opposite, it is considered a gross mistake.

All together, what does this mean? This means when we're driving somewhere, going 5 over the speed limit because we need to get where we're going as fast as possible without risking getting pulled over, and someone does something to interfere with that (like go the speed limit), we think it's ok to curse and jeer at that person, getting extremely angry over something so minor. And what good does that anger do? Well, it definitely puts you in a compromised state on the road, at least temporarily, while you dangerously swerve to pass the person you are so angry at. Is it worth it?

This means that when we encounter immigrants that do not have a good grasp (or any grasp) of English, or when we see someone from a different religious or ethnic background who looks distinctively different from the American mold (and by American, I mean the white middle class), we not only judge them to be stubbornly stupid, unaware, or uneducated, but we also think its ok to say hateful things when they're not around. Is that really ok?

This means that when we have children, it is usually assumed that the mother should continue to work, whether she needs to or not, and that her children should be placed in childcare at an extremely young age, where they will spend most of their time being cared for by a stranger who, as sweet as she may be, does not have the time or energy to devote much one-on-one time to any of the children in her care. Is this really what's best for our kids?

This means that many of us spend hours sitting in front of a computer, a tv, a game consol, or a phone, growing increasingly unhealthy and losing energy from lack of exercise. That we don't value quiet time or going outside because we aren't accomplishing anything tangible. That its ok to be apathetic as long as we make the trip to physically attend church. That its ok to eat chemicals and artificial foods because they're (supposedly) cheaper. That its ok to keep your cell phone on the table while you eat a meal with someone because you don't want to miss an (un)important phone call or text message.

Now...do I hate being American? No. But I think we are quickly losing sight of what's really important. Loving others, spending real time with God, valuing the beauties of nature, taking good care of our bodies, and respecting those around us. Do I think my little blog post is going to start a revolution? No. But I hope that it will inspire someone to go on a walk outside, without their phone, or to start putting their family higher on their priority list.

We are all guilty of this...so let's do something about it!

Honest Overshare: I Almost Lost It

When I started this blog over the summer, I did it with the purpose of chronicling my learning experiences as I took on my new (and daunting) role of being a mother. I don't know how closely I've stuck to that purpose, but today I promise to return with full gusto.

Levi, my sweet little no-fussing baby, has been officially sick (i.e. no daycare) for a week now. It actually started before that with a cold, but he'd already gotten one of those, so I knew it was no biggy - just suck out the boogers, turn on a humidifier at night, and help him get as much rest as he can - but last weekend it morphed into something that has grown increasingly grotesque. First it was a low-grade fever. Then, we discover a double ear infection. Then, when his fever went from low-grade to full-fledged and high, I was ready to take him back to the doctor, per her instructions. On the morning that I planned to call to set up an appointment, Levi puked. Everywhere. Ugh!



I take him to the doctor and find out that while the vomiting was nothing to worry about, the ear infection is resistant to our first try with drugs. Levi, unlike your normal kiddo, apparently hates the taste of bubblegum, so I'm sure he was elated to know that he wouldn't have to take amoxicillin anymore. Unfortunately, if Levi could talk, I think he would describe his new medicine, which officially tastes like apple, as tasting like death, so I think he would have preferred the bubblegum after all. On top of this, Levi's vomiting has gotten out of control. Is he dehydrated? No. Does he have diarrhea? No. Is he happy even? Yep. So that means I'm currently living in an apartment crowded with piles of vomit-flavored dirty laundry and a sick child who goes from happy to screaming in two seconds flat.



What, might you ask, is the point of my long tirade on what some of you are probably thinking is no fun, but no big deal? The point is that through all of this, I have learned that I do have a limit to how much I can take and that my past coping mechanisms are absolutely no good. You see, Justin's had to work extremely long hours all week this week, and into the weekend, so I've been going at it basically alone for most of this illness, and let me tell you, its been rough.

Last night, after cleaning poop off of my lap, changing Levi's sheets, and blotting throw-up out of the carpet because he puked right after he pooped on me, all while I was trying to put him down for what would be another restless night, I realized that I was VERY frustrated. I'm not saying I was mad at Levi. The poor guy can't help how he's feeling, nor can he control where and when he expels fluids of any kind. But, I tell you what, when you haven't had more than a 3 hour block of sleep in a few weeks and your baby is screaming and you're covered in puke and poop, it can drive you a little insane. In the past, to be honest, I probably would have blown up, most likely at Justin, and started crying, but last night, I couldn't do that. Not only would it be highly immature and inappropriate to react violently because of a bad case of Murphy's Law at the expense of your child's illness, it wouldn't have helped the situation. Levi needed me to be calm and collected and to do what needed to be done.

Did I react perfectly? No. I felt the anger and frustration rising in my throat, and it was right there like a fist, ready to explode if one more thing went wrong, for quite a while. Instead of yelling, however, I just walked out of the room for a minute. Levi was crying in his crib, but he was safe and generally ok. I just had to get away for a second. I collected what little was left of my sanity at that point and was able to go back in and soothe Levi to sleep after a while. Was I short with Justin later that night when we got to experience this all over again together? Yes. And not that that's ok, but learning how to handle frustration differently without any practice, while simultaneously feeling guilty that you feel frustrated at all, is the pits, and I think I did ok.

Some of you may be wondering at my lengthy version of an overshare, but I know I'm not the only one who has gone through, or is going through this. It's one thing to get frustrated at adults. It's another thing entirely when your frustration stems from your baby. Just remember, it's ok. Take a second and calm down. Focus on your love for your baby. And if you're feeling overwhelmed, allow yourself to indulge a little when you have some down time. For me, that was breakfast this morning - Vanilla Chex, meet Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Together you make the most sugary, delicious, closest-you-can-come-to-eating-puppy-chow-for-breakfast-without-eating-puppy-chow-for-breakfast, cereal I can imagine. Yummy! Yes...I know I'll probably have a sugar crash in an hour and then be hungry for lunch at like 10, but in the moment, it was total bliss.


All that to say, please pray for Levi since he's having a hard time right now. Poor kid really doesn't feel good. And please pray for my sanity and unending patience.